Good book….


When I was growing up my grandmother used to give me lots of advice it’s important to note that her advice was almost always ridiculous and insane but well meaning.

the reason I say that is because later on in life after the onset of dementia she would tell me things and sometimes they would be crazy . And I don’t want to give the impression that she had started saying crazy stuff only towards the end.

Most times the advice she gave me would be some variation on a weird translation of an Aesop’s fable .
You can change the entire feel of a story with just a few simple words.

The cashier told me Too turn around , and strip facing her.
This story could easily end with somebody facing charges

The cashier said turn your card around strip facing me.

That minor change involves no gratuitous nudity or my part and the need for store security so you can see how things can easily get lost in translation
And had my grandmother grown up in some small village and in some small backwoods country it would make sense however she grew up in England where they speak English.

So you might expect that fables would make sense to me and that’s where you’d be wrong

me having to try and understand

planning and making good life decisions from my grandmother telling me things from fables would be like trying to live your life according to rap music lyrics

I was probably 14 before I actually read Aesops fables for myself and was stunned by how practical they were. Almost all of them telling an interesting a little story that illustrates a good simple principle.

oh so that’s how that supposed to be… I’m sure I said to my then 14 year old self dozens of times. Along with Oh that makes much more sense,and shakeing my head.

I came to grow up with some strange ideas and it took me a while to understand that not everyone got these weird metaphors and parables and whatever else you want to call them from a young age and so I could not expect everyone to live by the same rules I did.

for example the phrase be careful you don’t burn your bridges is supposed to mean
don’t burn your bridges before you cross them
It’s a simple enough concept don’t do something rash that you might later regret for example burning down a bridge cuz you’re pissed off when you may need too cross the river again

The version I was taught was more pragmatic and it had something to do with burning down both sides of your bridge at the same time,so that they were even.

I’m not entirely sure what the object was supposed to be but I think it instilled in me a desire to make sure that my decisions were both dramatic and interestinover the this sort of strategy would lead me to places where I would do things that were moderately insane which would then nspire me to do something else mid plan. Often creating the impression of me useing a feint or a ruse.

Because let’s face it if you survive long enough to be middle aged and your decision making strategy involves doing things like burning bridges from both ends while you’re standing on the bridge you tend to get very good at spontaneously deciding new courses of action like jumping off the bridge into the water before your burn to a crisp it does however develop in one a chaotic style of life management . Which it is often highly amusing for other people to watch and in the event that you survived you’re almost guaranteed automatically have one or two good anecdotes you can share with people over drinks or possibly sushi
I guess all of this goes to show that I have sort of a warped idea of what people mean when they say certain things
it’s only recently that I discovered that when people say the good book they were referring too The Bible I just assumed that all these years when people said things are totally insane it wasn’t because they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about it must have been a different book as in that book they read said.

I still occasionally run into people who would say things like that .
One time when I got thrown out of a Bible study in college because I was arguing with the guy running it after he quoted God helps those who help themselves you know like The Good book says and I let him know that it was actually Milton who said that.
Which in all fairness I did think Paradise Lost was a pretty good book
For being a really long poem.

Or the time this weird white supremist was explaining to me how the Good Book says all other races are interior To the Aryan race.

I just assumed he was talking about that stupid post apocalyptic Turner Diaries book from the seventies now in all fairness I did just think of him as an idiot but not only because he was a racist scum bag but because he really liked that book.
That was actually a terrible book not just because It was racist and horrible it was the equivalent of fanfic decades before the Internet it was just racist drivel poorly written. So I don’t know if it really makes a difference.
That he was trying to justify himself was something that I thought was in the Bible as opposed to a book that would make even a crappy graphic novel probably doesn’t really matter in the long run I mean clearly he was still an idiot

so I feel like in the end I was justified but still.
I guess I just feel like you’re going to really dislike someone you should have a clear cut reason or rather it should be an Acurate reason not necessarily true.
Maybe the word I am looking for is specific.

Like if I hated someone for being color blind and It just turned out they just had no sense of style
Actually that Example probably works better the other way if I hated someone for having no sense of style and then it turned out there are color blind that would probably would make more sense

Otherwise I would be like man I hate that guy colorblind Joe always wearing the purple and the green and the pink together that bugs me.

Although there are probably quite a few people who would wear clashing colors like that just to annoy someone else.

So I guess I’m sure what I’m saying is bare with me I really have no idea how to go about deciding too make up my own decisions.
This being a grown up is a bit of a mystery to me.

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